I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
