remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
MIDGETS
????
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
