I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
