you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
