really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize