So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
