suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
