Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
