Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
