My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Randomize
