toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
