Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
