she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
