she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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