And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize