D3 body, D1 cock
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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