i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
