Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize