Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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