So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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