She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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