literally had 100 drinks last night.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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