it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
