So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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