return my video game
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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