He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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