I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
