I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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