I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
