Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
