this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
