life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
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You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
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Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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