UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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