Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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