Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize