i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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