I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
