I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
