I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
