i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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