I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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