I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize