FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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