Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
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I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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