girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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