come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
