So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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