mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize