the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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