Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
