I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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