I want to stick my p in your. b.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
