I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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