Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
