no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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