Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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