it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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