My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
