I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
