Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i drank out of a bidet.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
