Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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